The Online Samurai

Kyalo had just finished high school and was looking for employment. Being the first born in a family of six, he knew he had to get a job to help his parents and his siblings. His father was a peasant farmer while the mother was a house wife. People like Kyalo didn't dream of joining college. Their only goal in life was getting a job, get married and fill the earth as instructed by God in the Bible. It is just the way things were in Kathiani, Machakos County. After working odd jobs, buying goats, reselling the goats after a while and saving his profits, Kyalo decided it was time to go look for greener pastures in Mombasa where his Uncle Kimanzi resided. He had heard stories of how easy it was to get a well paying job in the coastal town. After all, his Uncle was uneducated yet worked at Kenya Ports Authority and was one of the richest people in Kathiani. Maybe, just maybe Kyalo would follow in his footsteps... Kyalo bid his family goodbye and embarked on his journey of financial fre...

Add caption "If only I hadn't made the dumb decision to wash clothes at 11pm I wouldn't be in this mess." Kinyua regrets. Decisions have consequences and lately he's been making bad ones or has he? Earlier during the day Kinyua was idling at his chill spot AKA base pondering where his next meal was going to come from. A sly-looking guy came to the base, bought his Ketepa and started chewing the precious 'delicacy'. After a few pleasantries here and there, the guy offers to buy Kinyua's cap at a meagre KSHs 150. At first Kinyua is disinterested but knowing very well how his favorite cap is just but a luxurious item with sentimental value he agrees to the deal. Fast forward curfew time approaches. Kinyua goes home and cooks every Kenyan bachelor's daily meal: Sukuma wiki, Eggs and Ugali. Satisfied he partakes in the activity he's been waiting for since the mystery man bought his cap. Chewing Khat! The high hits and he starts doing house chores. A...

The streets are empty and no matatu is in sight. "Fuck! That nigga has finessed me!", Irie laments. He doesn't even have any money on him to buy his daily stash of weed which puts him to sleep. He looks at his packet of muguka and sighs. The green leaves he's been chewing since afternoon are almost finished, could last him only about half an hour tops. "This wasn't meant to happen, this couldn't happen, this is happening." He wakes up from the spot he's been sitting strategically waiting for Salim and picks his water bottle not knowing where exactly he's going to. It's about 1 am and he now faces the gruesome reality of sleeping in the streets. His single mabati room was locked earlier in the day for being one month late in paying rent. "Landlord leo umenifika kwenye koo." Raising Kshs 2000 is no mean feat for a conductor but Mungu ni nani, he had the money one hour ago. "Fanya aje nijenge hio 2k cash Uko na...

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No natural behavior! Everybody is showing up and doing what they don't want to do and have a connection to. That's the problem with our society, and what is the reward for this? Go home and get a big TV, Go home you're going to get a nice purse, you're going to get shoes that you couldn't afford last week. You're going to get that dream car. Every week we are chasing down this new object and every week we're trying to fill this hole, this sad shadow of life that we have left after work. You work 8 to whatever hours per day plus commuting and then you're like this? That's your real life? All that stuff is not your life anymore. All that stuff is work. And most of us have committed to that. You are just a piece of a heartless, shitty machine that makes money. Don't let anybody fool you that there's a guarantee, That there is a safe way! Be different and unique. I know because I have been there before and I understand it's a trap be...

Ita waiter Ita waiter... We all sang to the major hit by the self-proclaimed Super producer, super Mc and super D.J Madtraxx. I would rather think of him as the Kenyan Fat Joe. Hassan, Omollo and myself had finally landed our first jobs after campus. Knowing that jobs are hard to come by in the country unless you have "connections" , we decided to celebrate of this auspicious achievement by binging on cupious amounts of alcohol. Hassan being the non-alcoholic guy he is, was sipping his chilled Del-Monte mango juice while the real kings Omollo and myself drank our warm pilsner beers. It was only right that we went to the best joint along Moi Avenue cause we weren't yet up that social life ladder to party in those high class lounges and restaurants in Westlands known as the party district of Nairobi where socialites, politicians, musicians, bloggers, twitter bigwigs and those twitter hunnies looking for sponsors all meet and take selfies only to post pictures with lots ...

To wake up the first time in a new place can be like another birth, well not the gruesome picture of a woman wailing and the doctors urging her to push harder, rather the confusion of emerging from a dream and realizing you are in unfamiliar territory. This morning, my ears were filled with a high clear sound; it was a little while before I knew it was from a nearby Mosque. The room was dim lit; the ceiling was high and the walls far away. How I got here was still a mystery much like the Halloween mystery of the creative director missing. Being a good copy detective I knew it was only a matter of time before I established my coordinates ; sounds a bit James 'Bondish' right? I know I know, just watched Spectre and I can't help it. Back to the room I was in , I woke up from the cold floor and realized I was still in a drunken stupor, must have been the whisky from last night! Being a senior odds hunter at sportpesa I knew very well that gambling and alcohol do not mix. I reme...